Monday, 28 December 2009

John Echohawk

John Echohawk is a Native American lawyer who is the Executive Director of The Native American Rights Fund.

Until recently I had never heard of this organisation.

What John does is campaign for restitution for the Indian Tribes who over a hundred years plus have been abused by the Federal Government.

When the tribes were ousted from their lands in the mid-nineteen hundreds, a trust was set up for them, to ensure they received income from any exploitation that took place on their new reservations.
This did not take into consideration their forced removal from their traditional homelands, nevertheless on paper it looked quite good.

So when miners, loggers, oil men, started to find exploitable resources on the reservations, it was not surprising to think that the tribes would benefit.

It seems that in most cases the companies honoured their legal requirements and made payments to the funds set up by the Federal Government.

Where it all goes pear shaped is when the funds arrive in accounts controlled by the Government.

A mixture of corruption and incompetence over at least 100 years has meant that the tribes have been abused by the system.

The sums concerned are literally staggering!

We are talking Billions of Dollars.

Successive attempts have been made to ensure justice for these people and they have got nowhere.

John has even attempted a class action and because of the power of central government he is getting delay after delay.

Senators and Congressmen say that this is going to cost the American tax payer a fortune, well so be it!

One must ask the question as to where all the money has gone in the first place.

What is left to the Native American people if they can't achieve restitution?

The simple answer to that, is the Nationalisation of Government assets on their land.

Most of these assets are highly sensitive military installations.

Please visit the North American Rights Fund and make a donation.

If freedom is to survive in the Western World we must start with those who have suffered under our two hundred years of exploitation.

Wednesday, 23 December 2009


Well the old fart has joined Facebook!

I know what you are thinking, Simon we thought you had a brain!

Well obviously not, but to be honest it is grand to communicate with my kids and their friends, even if I don't understand what they are talking about most of the time.

It will be amusing for me when they visit this blog, where we discuss issues of a Global nature!

I can see it now! Dad why are you so boring!

No matter, the little tinkers will understand when they are a bit older.

I guess the truth is that young people need to express happy feelings with their friends and should not be concerned with the worries of life, that will come soon enough.

One of the reasons I write this blog is to leave a legacy to my kids about my personal thoughts as a man of advancing years, who has made many mistakes in his life, but believes he can still offer a modicum of wisdom to his offspring.

The greatest achievement a person can aspire to, is to love their children.

All else in this World is incidental.

Happy Christmas people!

Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Christmas in Alnwick

Well it's finally starting to feel like Christmas in our little town and whilst the lights have been up for nearly a month now, the spirit has been a bit lacking.

I suppose that's because of the on-going recession affecting Britain.

But today for the first time, the local shops are busy and children are starting to get excited.

In England, the shops are only shut on Christmas Day, but that never seems to prevent people from buying enough food to withstand a siege.

This always, for some reason means you cannot get a loaf of bread before Christmas Day and will mean that the landfill sites will be full of the stuff come January.

Christmas Day is always a quiet time for me, Manuela is back in Brasil, with her family, Justine will be in Scotland with Michael, and Barry, my son, is going to his mothers, although we are planning a couple of lunchtime pints at The George, before he goes.

The landlady at my local pub opens for two hours at Christmas lunchtime, just for her regulars, so it would be churlish of me not to attend!

Besides it's tradition to go and laugh at the new jumpers, the dads will have got for Christmas!

Why is it families buy chaps jumpers that you can only look at whilst wearing welding goggles?

I'll then go home to cook lunch for Dad and I.

Dad will be wanting to watch the Queens Speech on the television, which he always enjoys, being a Royalist of the old school.

Then I shall join him to spend the afternoon watching mindless drivel suitably anaesthetized, with vintage port!

Monday, 21 December 2009

Child of the Sixties

This is a subject that my kids find totally tedious.

The nostalgia that surrounds the 1960's.

OK it was a great time, music, fashion, opinion, design, cars were all revolutionary.

Some months back I joined a hippy forum, just to see how it would develop and I was deeply disappointed.

The members turned out to be folks who were living in the past when it came to all of the above, with the exception of radical thinking, where they seemed to me to be as conservative as the generation they rebelled against.

I still pick up the posts and they sound like a bunch of old duffers who can't move on.

They go on about the anti-social aspects of smoking and drinking but will tell you how many joints they smoked at the weekend.

I think my kids are right, whilst I love the music from that time, it is foolish to live your life in the past, you just end up narrow minded and age that much faster.

My generation now rules the World and have been systematically removing the freedoms they campaigned for!

I think I'll go and live in Tristan da Cunha!


I think it was Henry Ford who said that history was 'bunk', I'm not certain, please correct me if I'm wrong.

Wherever you live history has been, until relatively recently, that which is presented by your own media and the prevailing education system.

Traditionally history was always written by the victors.

Today however we have access to resources around the World, which are helping to give us a more balanced view of specific events.

Two examples are the British Empire and also the history of Native Americans, there are many more, but for this post two will suffice.

When Dad was at school a quarter of the globe was pink, you could travel over land from Alexandria to Cape Town and not step outside the Empire.

School children were taught about the wonderful benefits of being part of the British Empire with it's paternal approach to civilising the natives!

Everybody new their place and all was right in the World.

For my father's generation this teaching has left them not knowing who they are and they are unable to comprehend the massive changes they have witnessed in the World.

This is not their fault, they were fed an institutional form of history which was about population management.

The Second World War changed everything, former colonies realised that their masters were not infallible and so self determination became the new mantra, supported by a now dominant America.

For my generation, we were fed a variation of the above in the creation of what was termed the British Commonwealth of Nations, which still today comprises some 26 countries and has a certain amount of political clout in the World.

The nineteen-sixties saw the first serious attempts to look at history from a different perspective and this was done through the media with film and books.

Film allows you to look at an issue from a human level and thus permits people to reassess particular events.

Books also played a part in this process.

In the U.S. a film came out called Soldier Blue, that publicly admitted atrocities against Native Americans followed by a seminal book called Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.

These incredible works opened the eyes of a generation to their origins and their culture and encouraged other writers and film makers from around the World to look at history anew.

An Englishman, Sir Richard Attenborough directed the film Gandhi, which exposed some of the less savoury aspects of Empire.

With the advent of the internet, we have got to a situation where we can see other peoples perspectives.

Today many writers of history record events, not at a national level, but rather at the human level and for me this is more powerful.

My friend Meam Wye records Islamic history in just this way.

When you write about individuals and their achievements, it does not matter where they come from.

Their achievements are for the benefit of humankind, wherever they live.

The result one hopes is that we can learn to live together in a way that permits varied opinion and dialogue.

We must teach our leaders to understand that we do not want conflict and that they must find another way to resolve issues.

History shows us that it is mothers who suffer, when their sons are sent to war.

May be it is time for women to run the World.

Friday, 18 December 2009

The Vagueries of English

Just for the benefit of readers around the World, I will try to clarify some of the expressions that not only I use, but which you might come across when viewing British websites.

My regulars will be aware that I live in the Northeast of England, so to make it easy I will say we are called Geordies. Some useful words and sayings follow:

Whyay pet!:yes
Canny Dia:nice day
The Toon:Newcastle upon Tyne or Newcastle United Football Club
Wor Lass:My wife,my daughter or my sister.
Bairn:my kid
Ha Wey!:Fuck off!
Ar Divnt Na!:I don't know!
Ar man ye feckin blaked:I say old chap you are drunk!
Yea suthern bastad!I take it you are from down south!

In other parts of the country you will experience a different set of expressions.

In London you have cockney rhyming slang, which some of you might have come across watching Guy Ritchie films like Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels or Snatch.

Simple examples follow:

Sky=sky rocket=pocket
Apples=apples and pears=stairs
Bristols=Bristol Cities=titties
Bottle and Glass=Arse
Mother's Ruin=Gin

In other parts of the country accents are different:

In Yorkshire the lads will say' Aye I sup some stuff!' Meaning I had a few beers!

The West Country Lads will say arr ass roit good beer that is, arr! Meaning the beer is ok!

Oi reckon the sheep round ere are ok. This could mean Welshmen or Norfolk lads who obviously are attracted to sheep, so be careful!

Building an Herbaceous Border

Shortly after taking up a position to run the garden at Wadhurst Castle in Sussex, I was tasked with the renovation of the south facing herbaceous borders, backed by the old kitchen garden wall.

The border was about 50 metres long by 4 deep and hadn't seen any care since the 1950's.

All that was worth salvaging was an old Magnolia and some ancient climbing roses.

Since the land was pure clay,I wasn't concerned with the roses in the least, perfect ground for them. Just a severe prune and they could be brought back to life.

Magnolias are a little different, they are very slow growing so pruning had to be judicious.

The Lady of the House had an idea of what colour schemes she required and then pretty much left it to me.

Fortunately I was given a reasonable budget to bring the site back to life.

When dealing with clay, it is pointless to dig it, you are simply doing work that you can get nature to do for you.

Having cleared the ground in the Autumn I laid down a bed of spent mushroom compost, to a depth of about four inches and then in the early Winter a six inch layer of well rotted horse manure. 22 ton which I barrowed to the site by hand, I was a fit bugger then!

Simple after that, I just let the weather get at it and was ready for planting in the Spring.

Come that time, I used a mix of perennials and annuals to ensure a strong first year showing, with the intention that year by year perennials would replace annuals, but still achieve the colour combinations that the Lady wanted.

So if you love gardening, but are terrified of the potential work or the poor soil conditions, just think about nature.

Plant for the conditions that exist in your area.

Think about a colour scheme that you want and then find plants that will work in your local conditions, rather than seeing something at the local garden centre, which looks great, but may not work where you live.

I know this is easy for me to say, since I'm a plantsman, but there are any amount of quality gardening books that will tell you where plants come from and what conditions they need to grow in.

I would recommend publications by The Royal Horticultural Society as probably being the best.

Just one final comment, don't be worried about shovelling horse shit! If it's well rotted it has virtually no smell!

Happy Christmas.

Thursday, 17 December 2009

I've Been Thinking

Yes I know, Oh God here he goes again.

Well we now live in this Global community which allows us to express ourselves in a way not possible in the past.

Opinion was traditionally driven by our respective Governments and Cultures.

We now find ourselves in a situation where the Tower of Babel has been rebuilt and we do not always swallow what we are told.

This must be a nightmare for our leaders.

How can they convince us that what they say is true?

The answer to that one is they can't.

Those who wish to influence human opinion are also under threat, simply because we find friends around the World who tell us how it is in their own environment without the need for emotionally charged agendas.

In my travels it seems to me that most people are kind, considerate and open to different opinions, irrespective of their religious or cultural backgrounds.

I'm a Christian with Muslim friends, neither of us are trying to convert the other, and why should we? We both believe in the Great Architect of the Universe.

So to try and maintain some sort of control, the governments of the World focus on issues which they believe they have full control over, namely weapons and global warming.

I will deal with the issues seperately.

Weapons: It's alright if we have them, but if you do,sorry that isn't allowed!

Global Warming:It is probably happening, but I am yet to be convinced that man can do anything about it.

I read an awful lot about this subject and our planet.

We may be heading for what I term as a readjustment which has nothing to do with humanity, just something the planet does from time to time.

In the last 70 million years the poles have shifted 170 times.

If you believe Charles Hapgood, we have never experienced an Ice Age, simply a shift in the crust, which has meant that the poles have moved, thus resulting in a change in polar regions.

This would certainly explain the discovery of a mammoth in Siberia found to have food in it's frozen mouth and stomach which said it lived in sub-tropical areas.

It was instantly frozen, which means the poles shifted instantly, think about that for a minute!

We have this belief that we are infallible but in reality we are just another species.

Our advantage however is this, we are intelligent.

If another cataclysm is to descend upon us, some humans will survive, and who will they be?

Well for sure they will not be accountants and lawyers!

Think of who you are and who your friends are.

To survive we will need people who are experts in the following fields:

Herbal Medicine
Leather Workers

All of what I have mentioned are trades that will help us survive, the final one is about how we rebuild civilisation.

I know it is Christmas and the greenies tell me to be politically correct, but I want a Range Rover Sport, purely and simply because it does 120mph, which I will need to get to the hills when the tidal wave comes!

Heyho have a lovely time!

Tuesday, 15 December 2009

Why do we call it piles?

Because we can't spell haemorrhoids!

At one time or another in your life, you will probably experience this ailment.

I don't know if it is the same in your country, but here it often generates a certain amount of hilarity from those around you.

Then again the British have a thing about bottom humour and if it involves you walking in a way that clearly means you are suffering, so much the better!

Even worse your friends will start taking the p*ss which sets you off laughing and thus amplifies the discomfort.

Even the name is ridiculous! It sounds like the name for a Science Fiction movie!

The Invasion of the Haemorrhoids, don't miss the latest James Cameron blockbuster!

After a while it becomes necessary to visit the quack!

Oh dear, on goes the rubber glove and he says,' let me know if you feel any pain!'

Is this man an idiot?

Now don't get me wrong, my body has not been invaded by these aliens since my twenties, at the time I was a young bachelor who lived on beer and curries!

So after the man with the rubber glove had completed his examination he proudly announced that I had piles, well whoopee, clever these Doctors.

Tell me Mr Holmes about your diet,'Well doctor, 14 pints a day, a chicken vindaloo and twenty tabs(cigarettes).

Says he,' It's hardly surprising you have piles Simon,( getting familiar now he has visited my bottom!) with a regime like that!

So being a sensible person I immediately reduced my beer consumption to 7 pints, changed to chicken madras and cured the problem at no cost to the NHS.

Still on the twenty tabs mind!

Happy Days

Some of you may have noticed, that of late my tone has been a little angry, my friend Al at Publish or Perish pointed this out to me yesterday, and he is right, time to lighten the mood I think.

Well folks this chap is going to be a Grandfather in the New Year,for the second time, my lass Justine has announced that she is expecting!

Wow! I hear you say,' but Simon you are far too young to be a Grandfather!'

Shocking as it may seem but this English hunk is 56 years old!

Yes I know, quite unbelievable isn't it!

The bairn will be born in the month of August and both Justine and her lad Michael are over the moon.

Isn't life wonderful.

Time I think for a pint!

Monday, 14 December 2009

The Black Bird

Monday is often a pretty dull day, but this week I have enjoyed a visit to the Bank by a lady whose site is called, The Black Bird.

This is one of the best sites I have run across in my travels.

Hilarious is an understatement!

We are dealing with a woman who is highly intelligent, humorous and earthy.

Her picture on her site says it all!

You know immediately who is in charge when you look at that face!

I strongly recommend you all visit The Black Bird, she is going to be a Blogging star!

I am a Christian

Well there you have it, I've admitted that I follow the teachings of Jesus.

Today in modern Britain I am considered a stupid person who believes in some kind of fantasy.

Well sorry chaps but I view the teacher as a great man.

Being a Gnostic Christian I follow the Nazarenes where the path to God is found within one's self.

This is a life times endeavour to become one with the mind of God.

It is a personal journey that does not involve priests.

Fortunately other Gospels and writings have survived to support our beliefs and analysis of the New Testament has shown that Jesus was married and had children.

To Gnostic Christians we do not have a problem with the humanity of Jesus.

He was for us a teacher and we accept that he was human and not a God.

The Catholic Church has been a lie since it's existence and it knows the fact.

Since Constantine created the official Church as a political tool to control the Empire, the faith has been abused.

However Christians today are waking up to the origins of their faith and realising that the teachings of Jesus are not what have been presented for the last 1500 years.

At last his thoughts are being expressed in their original form.

Sunday, 13 December 2009

The Destruction of Freedom

This is not simply a trait of Britain, it is happening all over the so called advanced world.

The pernicious nature of it is driven by both politicians and unelected government officials.

It covers every facet of your life, from your religious beliefs, who you vote for, whether you drink alcohol or not, smoke, drive a car, own your own home, want to wave a flag outside your house, how you bring up your children, go hunting, believe in aliens, eat meat, support your local fishing community, express a view that uncontrolled immigration is a bad thing, global warming is created by humans, health and safety!

On a personal level I have experienced the change in policing, when making a complaint about anti-social behaviour, the coppers don't accept what you say, noise is acceptable because the law now says people have to smoke outside a pub because of health and safety.

The time has come to name the individuals who create these laws and those who gain from implementing them.

They must suffer the consequences of a reduction in freedom. They must also lose their jobs!

Gordon Brown

This post may not mean much to you if you are fortunate enough not to be a Briton.

Currently we have an unelected Prime Minister who thinks the way to solve economic problems is to spend borrowed money.

We are now in a position where 65% of GDP is created by the public sector, which basically means we are in the fertiliser.

Our beloved leader who seems to me to have had a personality by-pass, has put Britons in a position where it could take twenty years to pay off the national debt.

When he and his chum the Holy Tony came to power, we did not have a national debt!

What may you ask have they spent the money on?

The simplest way of answering this question is to start at where they haven't spent it.

The transport system could best be described as Pre-Christian.

The military are fighting with bows and arrows.

Christianity is virtually criminalised.

Law and Order has become politically correct and thus requires little Government expenditure because to prosecute criminals is to oppress the poor.

Our beloved Prime Minister has created the biggest national debt in the history of Britain.

Most of this money has gone to pay for quangos, political schemes , local politicians and institutions that will happily continue to promote the Labour Movement.

We now have a system where senior civil servants are paid massive salaries and given incredible bonuses for performance.

Excuse me but why should tax payers money be used to make these idiots wealthy?

Our nation is in trauma and I could see a civil war, unheard of since Cromwell.

If this should happen, it is a major threat to the rest of the World.

To prevent it happening the major powers should force Britain to revert to it's historical roots of freedom.

Not even America can afford for this country to fall apart.

Our current PM is an enemy of liberty and must be removed.

Saturday, 12 December 2009

Sir Alan Beith

This is an open letter to my local MP.

Dear Sir Alan

As the propaganda sheet issued by your local constituency office polluted my doormat this morning, I thought it might be prudent to respond to you.

In this ill considered pamphlet you were foolish enough to mention that you had served this constituency for the better part of thirty years.

In this time you have achieved exactly what?

To date we still do not have a dualled A1, our local hospital is little more than a part time clinic.

We no longer have a full time police station and village schools continue to be closed.

Yes you have been successful in meeting with moaning minnies in your Berwick and Alnwick offices, which has clearly helped you get re-elected.

Your greatest success no doubt has been achieving a knighthood for yourself and getting your former secretary into the House of Lords.

Nice and cosey for the pair of you but it does little for North Northumberland.

Are you seriously considering standing for re-election, because sir you are a complete tit and represent a party that couldn't manage a whelk stall!

I bid you good day!

Friday, 11 December 2009

Our Origins

Every kid born in the British Isles has been brought up with an incorrect view of both our history and our origins.

We were and are taught that our islands were populated by a series of tribes that, with each phase of invasion effectively ethnically cleansed the country.

With the advent of genetic mapping, we now know that what we have been fed over the years, is complete tosh!

Ethnically there is little difference between the English,Scots,Welsh and Irish.

The first inhabitants of our islands were Basques and to this day we are still predominantly ethnic Basques.

Only a small percentage of our population was ever Celt, Anglo-Saxon, Viking or Norman.

This tends to suggest that those arriving on our shores were in each case an elite, probably escaping some kind of persecution in their homelands.

This of course is intriguing, it means that we are an incredibly ancient race who have lost their heritage.

Our ancestors built Stonehenge and the other megalithic monuments in Britain, for why we don't really know.

The Druids originated in our islands and far from the Roman propaganda which said they practised human sacrifice, we know that their learning was revered throughout the ancient
World, which in itself suggests that Britain was not an island of savages.

The Romans true interest in Britain was it's mineral wealth.

The most important metal of the time was bronze which is an alloy of tin and copper, both of which were in abundance in Britain.

There are legends in the West Country that Jesus came here with his uncle, Joseph of Arimathea and that Jesus studied under the druids at Glastonbury.

Obviously there is no material evidence for this but folk tales have often proved to have an element of truth.

We know for sure that Joseph was a wealthy tin merchant and since Cornwall was the biggest producer of this metal in the ancient World, it would not be surprising if he travelled there.

To support this argument, the early church stated that the first Christian church was created in Britain at Glastonbury.

Why would Jesus come here? Our islands have an ancient spirituality involving megaliths, ley lines and of course the druids.

It was well known in ancient times as a mysterious place and a centre of spiritual learning

Many Christians may be horrified by my suggestions, but they should remember that Jesus was not a Christian.

The cult that developed out of his teachings became known as Christianity.

So we Britons live in a mystical place and more and more of us are going back to our roots, this land has a special hold on us that we cannot truly explain.

I believe that we will over the coming years start to re-evaluate our place in the World.

Throughout history these small islands have had an influence out of all proportion to their size and this will continue but in a way based on the knowledge of the ancients.

If your ancestors came from these isles you are probably of Basque origin, either way this is your spiritual home, visit it if you can.

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Ludwig van Beethoven

After the last post I wanted to express something truly personal and truly emotional.

On 16th December 1770 was born for me the greatest composer who ever lived, and even he knew that God had placed him here for a purpose.

I am sitting here listening to Egmont.

As with every note he ever composed, it means something, it has spiritual resonance and you know that God put this man on the planet to express the beauty of life, nature and humanity.

Ludwig's music is the culmination of expression before the devastation of industrialisation.

You feel every note, it is organic and part of you.

Go out and buy the Emperor Concerto and listen to it late at night in the dark and then you will feel the genius of this man.

Every phrase makes sense, nothing is out of place, it just comes together in a way that will make you understand why you are on this planet.

If I have convinced you, which I hope I have, then move on to the Ninth Symphony, the greatest piece of music known to man.

Ludwig attended the premier in Vienna and received a standing ovation at the finish of the Symphony.

He witnessed people clapping their hands and knew that he had created a wonderful piece of music.

It was composed when he was completely deaf, he cut the legs off his piano so he could feel the note vibrations whilst he was lying on the floor.

God created a master who knew his duty to the Lord and he created what was required.

Can you think of an artist today that makes you think of nature, true love, humanity or spirituality?

Nudity and Civilisation

This post may upset some of my readers, but nevertheless I feel the need to state my views.

There are certain things going on in our World that are pernicious and need to be addressed.

Two types of violence are polluting our children. One is obvious and that is the glorification of weaponry and the other is on-line porn.

Both these demean us as humans.

It should be noted that the biggest purveyors of both these corruptions are The United States of America.

Under the US Constitution these systems are protected, firstly the right to bare arms and secondly the right of free speech.

Why do Senators and Congressmen continue to permit this filth to be exported around the World?

The answer is quite simple, money.

America makes billions of dollars every year from the propagation of the sale of weapons and porn.

Both products degrade humanity and lose America, respect in the World.

Huge corporations such as Google, Yahoo, Microsoft, and others, choose to avoid their moral responsibility to society.

The Bill Gates Foundation may spend millions helping poorer countries, but do nothing to prevent the moral collapse in the West.

This is sinister in the extreme.

Secular society says that we should never have censorship, but there are certain subjects where it is in the public interest.

I think most people would prefer that their children were not exposed to either violence or porn in a way that suggests it's normal behaviour.

I titled the post Nudity and Civilisation, for me to pick up a paper and find a half naked girl in it, has got to the point of being tiresome.

She will be admired for nothing more than her body.

This obsession with the body beautiful has become idiotic and the effect on our society means that we think of nothing less than how pretty we are!

The time has come when we say no!

If we do not our civilisation will collapse.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

William Adams

William Adams was born in the Kentish town of Gillingham, England, in the year of our Lord 1564.

At the age of twelve he was apprenticed as a shipwright working in Limehouse, an area of the old London docks.

His apprenticeship lasted twelve years before he gained a position as Master and Pilot with the Worshipful Company of Barbary Merchants, where he spent a further twelve years, including joining a Government funded expedition to the Arctic to try to find the fabled Northwest Passage.

In the year 1598 an opportunity arose to join a small Dutch Merchant fleet as Pilot Major, with the objective of opening trade between Holland and Japan.

The fleet consisting of five merchantmen, sailed that year and headed off for the tip of South America.

Only three vessels made it through the Straits of Magellan, one of which was captured by the Spanish and another was lost in a storm.

The last remaining vessel crossed the Pacific and arrived off Japan in April 1600, with only 20 of the original crew of 100 surviving. The most senior of which was William Adams.

Initially they met with a hostile reception from locals accompanied by Jesuit priests, who wanted them crucified as pirates.

However, word was sent to Tokugawa the Daimyo of Mikawa, the future Shogun of Japan.

He insisted on interrogating Adams over a considerable period of time, on such subjects as his profession, country, religion and England's relationship with Spain and Portugal.

Much to the annoyance of the Jesuits, Tokugawa refused to countenance the execution of people he did not have a quarrel with.

Adams was commissioned by the now Shogun to build Western style sailing vessels, the first of which was used to chart the coast of Japan.

Within a two year time frame Adams became fluent in Japanese and gradually replaced the Jesuits as the advisor to the Shogun on matters covering shipbuilding, trade and diplomacy.

About this time the Shogun presented him with two swords and changed his name to Miura-Anjin, thus he became the first European to be made a Samurai.

Known by most as Anjin-sama, meaning Lord Pilot, he received an estate which included 100 servants and was located at a place called Uraga, near modern day Tokyo.

Adams married a local Japanese girl, by whom he had two children.

Given privileged trading and diplomatic rights, he served Japan until his death in 1620.

His grave can be seen today in Hirado, Nagasaki Prefecture, where it is maintained by local monks.

William Adam's memory is preserved to this day in two places, Anjin-cho, in Nihonbashi and at a village in his former fiefdom called Anjinzuka.

Every year on the 10th August, the city of Ito holds the Miura Anjin Festival.

His story was the inspiration for a novel by James Clavell and also turned into a mini-series called Shogun.

Monday, 7 December 2009


The Christmas season is rapidly approaching when we all should be thinking of family, friends and the happy times ahead.

However for many parents this time of the year can be very stressful as they consider the potential financial cost of the Season of Goodwill.

Retailers the World over manage to encourage children to want want want.

Parents do what they can to make Christmas a special time for their young ones, but sadly the focus is mainly on the fleeting happiness experienced through materialism.

Less and less do people in the developed World pay homage to the true meaning of this festival and as a result it has been usurped by commercialism.

Gone are the days when carollers would knock on your door and sing just for you, expecting a little charity to be distributed to the poor.

Even Christmas decorations are rarely symbolic of this most important Christian festival, they are more often than not ' thematic '.

The season of goodwill has turned into a feast of over indulgence where little time is given over to reflecting on those who will not be experiencing the joys of a family coming together.

Many Christians live in oppressive regimes, have little money to survive let alone celebrate Christmas in a material way.

However they will more likely express their spiritual feelings at this time.

So if you can, take a little time to think of those less fortunate than yourself and give a little charity when someone in need crosses your path.

Saturday, 5 December 2009

The Strange Death of Dr Kelly

You will all remember the aftermath of the Second Gulf War, where politicians in both Britain and the US began to question the reasons for going to war.

The UN was told by Bush and Blair that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction and despite concerted efforts, postwar, nothing was ever found to suggest that Iraq possessed WMD's.

In Britain a Parliamentary Inquiry was undertaken to investigate the original claim.

One of the principal witnesses was a chap called Dr David Kelly, a government scientist who was considered to be one of the World's leading experts in this field.

A quiet and unassuming man who was clearly uncomfortable in the media spotlight.

The evidence he gave at the inquiry was to say the least damning for Mr Blair's government.

Shortly afterwards he was found dead, in a local beauty spot, close to where he lived.

His family to this day, say that he was not the suicidal type, but the subsequent inquest stated that he took his own life.

In today's paper a group of six physicians have stated that he was murdered by persons unknown.

Consider this: The Inquest was set up by Lord Falconer, an ex-flat mate of Tony Blair, who appointed Lord Hutton to oversee the inquiry.

The six doctors in question have asked for a judicial review on the basis that certain questions have not been satisfactorily answered by the original inquiry.

I will quote verbatim the six points they wish to have answered:

1.Why was the cause of death found to be a haemorrhage, when hardly any blood was found around the body?

2.Who were the mystery men seen around the time of Dr Kelly's death, near where his body was found?

3.Why were there no fingerprints on the knife that Dr Kelly supposedly used to slit his wrists?

4.Why did the police investigation into Dr Kelly's death apparently begin before he even set off for his final walk, let alone before his body was found?

5.Why were there claims that Dr Kelly took 29 painkillers, when only a fifth of one tablet was found in his stomach?

6.Was Dr Kelly's body moved after death?

Dr David Kelly's family have never believed that he committed suicide and for six eminent physicians to consider that the original enquiry was flawed makes you wonder why the government is reticent to investigate this issue in detail.

Let us look at Tony Blair for a moment.

A public schoolboy whose father was a life long member of the Conservative Party, Blair meets Cherie Booth a rabid socialist.

Blair joins the Labour Party at a time when it is in terminal decline and meets a traditional Labour supporter called Gordon Brown.

Over time a deal is struck, they create a new concept called 'New Labour', which is little more than a Conservative variant.

Blair says to Brown, you get me traditional Labour support and I will win the election, after one term I will hand over to you, OK says Brown and the rest is history.

Not only does Blair betray his original roots, he betrays his relationship with the Labour Party, Gordon Brown and his so called Christian beliefs by converting to the Catholic Church.

What we have here is a man that the World cannot trust and who is ruthless enough to arrange the death of a government scientist who could potentially expose him.

A previous Chief of the General Staff has gone so far as to suggest this man should stand trial for War Crimes.

I leave it to you to make up your own mind.

Wednesday, 2 December 2009


And I don't mean the name of the Duke of Wellington's horse!

You will have read in the news about the latest climate change conference that is taking place in Copenhagen.

Scientists have been telling us for some time that we are experiencing Global Warming, and I think that is self evident from the odd weather that we all know is affecting our World.

However I am not one of those who blindly follows the mantra of science.

A little reading and a little education will show you that the planet has experienced dramatic climate change in the past, long before industrialisation, motor cars and vast herds of farting cattle.

The 'green' industry will tell you that sea levels are going to rise and sink many cities and communities around the World.

What they fail to mention is that an increase in temperature will also result in an increase in evaporation, creating a higher humidity and rainfall.

So vast amounts of this extra moisture will be held in the atmosphere and end up being deposited in places that are currently starved of water.

On the one hand we have the developed World promoting this CO2 emissions mantra, primarily to put pressure on developing countries, by suggesting we monitor the production of all products, based on their carbon footprint,( a spurious form of measurement derived from biased and ill considered calculation.).

Then under developed countries sign up to this principal as a means to extract funds for so called sustainable development.

What we really have here is a post industrial methodology designed to maintain a status quo with regard to advanced economies, ensuring that the new technologies needed to combat the uncombatable are developed by sophisticated countries.

Green scientists are the new priesthood and to question what they say amounts to nothing less than heresy, after all they know, don't they, they went to University and who are we to criticise their findings?

So their mantras are promoted around the World by politicians and pop stars whizzing around in executive jets, travelling in limos and living in huge houses.

Perhaps the public will start to believe what we are being told, when those who promote it start living in a more environmentally friendly way.

For me, as a man who has worked with nature as a plantsman, certainly I see changes, but you would be amazed at how rapidly nature adapts to conditions.

Humanity is beginning to realise that the age of enlightenment is coming to an end and we will revert back to living in tune with nature.

The dinosaurs of our age are scientists who still believe they can change the World by manipulation.

Stop worrying and adapt, the Great Architect of the Universe created our home, which has seen many changes and it will see many more before our Sun becomes a Red Dwarf!

Sunday, 29 November 2009

The Commando Raid

Following on from my post about dad, this is another one about The Home Guard.

The unit throughout the war was controlled by the regular army, who looked upon them as a bunch of old idiots.

Nevertheless orders would be issued from High Command to effect certain actions!

On one occasion Dad's unit was told to lay a communications line from Hitchin to Stevenage, a distance of about six miles.

Dad's commanding officer, who was very similar to Captain Mainwaring, said to the High Command, 'No problem, when are you sending the cable to do the job?'

'Don't be stupid Captain, use your imagination!'.

So, Corporal John Holmes,( My Dad ) and a squad of aged commandos raided the local post office depot in the middle of the night and stole six miles of cable.

Before the event Dad blacked up with boot polish in his mum's kitchen and she said,'what are you doing son?'.' Can't tell you mum, it's a matter of national security!'.

So the upshot was that the military got six miles of communication cable laid and the post office had a problem with their inventory.

The local police were called in to investigate, but since most of them were in the Home Guard, they were stumped as to who might have perpetrated the crime!

A little bit of this kind of behaviour today might help our World.

Saturday, 28 November 2009


My old Dad is 87 now and lives with me since my Mum died 6 years ago.

He's at that time of life where he spends much of his time reflecting on the past and those of you with elderly relatives will know that they can be somewhat repetitive.

However it is always good to be patient at these times because every now and then he comes out with some little gems.

Dad was born in 1922 in Kensington, which is in West London, his father had been an officer in The Durham Light Infantry during the Great War and was invalided out after the Battle of Passchendaele.

At the age of about six the family moved to Stevenage in Hertfordshire, at the time a small market town on the Great North Road.

At the age of eight Dad had a fall which resulted in him experiencing severe pain.

He was taken to the doctors and after many tests, it was established that he had tuberculosis of the bone and he was despatched to an infirmary in Stamford, Middlesex for what would turn out to be a series of operations over a four year period.

At the time TB was a killer and it was fortunate that it was not in his lungs.

The little laddie grew up fast in that institution, suffering not only personal physical pain, but emotional stress from the loss of friends who were in hospital with him.

He has recounted to me one particularly bad six month period when he was in plaster from his chest to his ankles.

The diseased bone was in his right hip and so a hole was cut in the plaster so that each morning the nurse could put an aluminium spike in the wound, to break up the puss.

This was done every day for six months, without the aid of any pain killer.

The old fella has a permanent tan since in those days they believed the best cure was fresh air, and so he was pushed outside in his bed irrespective of the weather.

In the end they stopped the spread of the disease by grafting bone from his shin into his hip and as a result he has no joint on the right side and his leg is four inches shorter.

All his life he has steadfastly refused to accept disability and he can be more than a little short with people who moan about pain!

During the Second World War he joined a thing called the Home Guard and if any of you have ever seen a BBC comedy series called Dad's Army, the old boy says it was just like that!

He has told me some very funny stories of that time, including one involving the Australian Army.

At the outset of hostilities the Australian Army Pay Corp were billeted at his local golf club and many was the time that Dad played golf with these fellas.

He says they would carry their golf clubs but also have a golf trolley to carry the beer!

One day a sergeant scored a hole in one and that was the end of the round, they had a party in the clubhouse that lasted a week!

Another time Dad was standing guard duty on the top of a water tower close by the main railwayline from London to Edinburgh.

A table was welded onto the top of the tower which had an engraved map of the local terrain as well as profiles of German aircraft.

One night Dad was on duty when a plane appeared from the South and checking the profiles he realised it was a German Ju88.

Armed with his trusty First World War Canadian Ross rifle, he started taking pot shots as the plane was heading towards him.

As it passed, he received a burst of cannon fire, puncturing the water tower, which made him bounce up and down.

To this day he believes the German gunner was simply saying,' don't be a bloody idiot!'

There are many more tales from his younger days that I am collating and I will relate them to you over the coming months.

Friday, 27 November 2009

It's Friday

The working week has finished and now we are about to embark on the weekend.

I am at home listening to Brazilian music with a fine glass of wine and a cigarette.

What are you doing?

Our masters will be doing the same and contemplating what new laws they might introduce to ensure we continue to perform in a way that meets their requirements.

Democracy requires that you control people by fear, so the press will tell us that Islamism is our current danger and watch out because Sharia law could be introduced.

Oh! please,does anyone seriously think that this is going to happen!

Wouldn't it be nice if we had a government that said we are going to repeal laws for the next term in office.

Over 3000 new laws have been passed since the criminal Blair came to power.

Remove laws and let people live and take responsibility for their lives!

Freedom requires that politicians do not interfere in anything that we do!

Thursday, 26 November 2009

An Angry Man

This is a beautiful World and it is being screwed up by politicians and institutions, that are only interested in serving their own needs.

A bunch of self serving scientists and bureaucrats are in Copenhagen trying to create the next level of ' thou shalt behave' Global legislation.

These people are financed by organisations that directly benefit from creating an apocalyptic
view of the World.

Sure Global warming is probably taking place, but only the dogma of modern science would say that humankind is responsible.

These very same scientists will tell you that the Earth has gone through many such cycles in it's history.Some of which have happened very rapidly.

The very arrogance of science, to suggest that we can cure the problem, as if the World was some machine that they controlled!

Science denies the existence of spirituality, which will result in it's ultimate failure.

The universe will determine the future of our World, which is well beyond the comprehension of our narrow minded scientists.

You do not need to be of a religious persuasion to work out that we are not in tune with nature and that we are abusing the Globe.

The Greenies protest about this and that. Essentially there are too many people using up resources of the Planet.

Each country needs a smaller population and more focus should be on skills that help societies survive.

We need practical skills, spirituality, arts, engineering, mathematics, as was true in ancient times.

We do not need accountants, lawyers, pr consultants, marketing folk, politicians et al.

Old fashioned trades will be what is required in the new age, if man is to survive and rebuild civilisation, because the system is about to collapse.

Those who take the World forward will be those who have already given up a material way of life.

Those who still live with materialism are already dead.

I titled this post ' An Angry Man ' simply because I believe humanity has not yet woken to the fundamental changes we are going through.

The television generation is in danger of dying in the same way that biblical societies collapsed when Noah was asked to build his Ark.

Monday, 23 November 2009

What is Going On?

This post will have an Anglocentric bent, but I believe the principles still apply in other Western Countries.

I read the other day, that a couple were turned down in their application to adopt a small child, on the basis that they were white and the kiddy was black.

What kind of politically correct madness denies a child a loving home simply because of a colour difference?

This bairn is living in an institution, which by definition will not be capable of providing the most fundamental need of a child, which is love.

Love has no colour and if politicians truly believed in diversity then surely the best way to achieve it would be by ignoring ethnicity.

Would black couples in England, desperate for a child, turn down the opportunity to adopt a white baby, if it was offered to them? I don't think so.

What is more important? Political correctness or a child living in a happy home.

In Britain it seems ok for foster parents to look after kids of different ethnic backgrounds, but not acceptable for them to adopt these kiddies.

To me this is just another form of institutional racism.

I can remember when a couple I know who fostered kids, had a brother and sister from Ethiopia.

The little girl would have been about four years old and would always insist on sitting on my knee at my local cricket club and never stop talking!

She was the most beautiful little girl and very happy with here foster parents who under the law had no chance of actually adopting her.

Not only was this tragic, it was criminal!

Some faceless bureaucrat would say she needs to be with people of her own culture.

Total crap, at that age she needs love and security. When she is an adult she can investigate her origins and make up her own mind about these issues.

When she sat on my knee, she didn't look at me as a white man, but simply as a friend who enjoyed her company.

I started this post by saying ' what is going on?'. In my view the West has lost it's spirituality and is hide bound by rules and regulations which are devoid of humanity.

Children just want to be loved and we could all learn something from them, because they don't see colour!

Sunday, 22 November 2009

My Lass

Well Maria Manuela Gomes has gone back to Belem today for four months and this old fart is on his own for a wee while.

She's gone home to see her old mum, another Maria, to spend time in the humid heat of Amazonia, on a series of flights that mean she won't be home until 1 o'clock lunchtime on Monday.

Poor lass will be starved of a cigarette in all that time because the airline industry says it's bad for your health.

Well we all know that,but let's get real, it really means their cleaning bills are less.

If governments really want to stop people smoking, they would ban it, but they don't do they!

Why? Because they want the tax.

Corrupt politicians across the World pontificate on this subject because the unelected health facists give them the ammunition.

We live in a World where these creeps profess a belief in democracy but institute laws that target groups who either don't support their party or have no political clout.

Real freedom is no longer to be found in western countries, they are now little more than places
controlled by petty bureaucrats and lawyers.

So to get back to Manuela, tomorrow she will be home in a country, whist not perfect, does not persecute it's citizens who want a bloody cigarette in a bar!

Saturday, 21 November 2009


Phillip von Hohenheim, better known to the World today as Paracelsus, was born in Switzerland in 1493, the son of a physician and chemist.

He commenced his University education at the age of 16, initially at the University of Basel and later completing his Doctorate at the University of Ferrara.

With an insatiable thirst for knowledge, he became a travelling physician, working his way through France,Spain,Germany,Sweden,Russia and Hungary.

Paracelsus was steeped in Hermetic, Neo-Platonic and Pythagorean philosophy and as was common at the time amongst physicians, he was a practising Astrologer.

An experimental practitioner, he was always seeking new ways to treat disease, which sometimes brought him into conflict with accepted methodologies and authorities, both academic and religious.

Often considered arrogant in the way he expressed his views, he lasted less than a year in the Chair of Medicine at the University of Basel, before being run out of town!

Resuming his travels, in pursuit of ancient and hidden knowledge he journeyed throughout Europe, Asia Minor and Africa.

The result of these journeys and the knowledge he acquired, culminated in the publication of 'The Great Surgery Book', the first editions of which appeared in 1536, helping to restore his reputation throughout Europe.

In his lifetime he used Alchemical practises more for experimentation on chemical and mineral elements than for personal development.

Paracelsus believed in treating the whole being, body and spirit as you would expect in a follower of Hermetic philosophies.

He was the first to suggest that many diseases of the human body were caused by outside agents, created the use of Laudanum, an opiate tincture, used up until Victorian times as a pain reliever.

Today he is considered the father of Toxocology and is quoted as saying,' all things are poisonous and nothing is without poison, only the dose permits something not to be poisonous'.

Modern holistic medical practitioners owe much to the early work of Paracelsus and some would go even further by stating that he initiated the foundations of what would become medicine as we recognise it today. Another three centuries would have to pass before this happened.

What Paracelsus can still teach us today across a wide range of sciences is this. Knowledge is universal and in nature is not narrowed down into specialist fields.

For truly great advances in the understanding of the universe and man's place in it, scientists of many disciplines need to cooperate and collaborate.

A simple example might be the discipline of archaeology which steadfastly refuses to engage with other disciplines which might disagree with pet theories, these being archaeo-astronomy,
geology and anthropology.

These sciences all working together in an open minded way, might yet discover that human civilisation is much older than current convention suggests.

This is merely one example amongst many where the high priests of science will consider anyone not conforming to their view of the World is a heretic, an experience Paracelsus new only too well.

He left this World in 1541 at the age of 47.

Thursday, 19 November 2009

Harold Larwood

Born in Nuncargate, Nottinghamshire on 14th November 1904, to a working class family, Harold left school at the ripe old age of 14, to commence work in the mines.

His father like every miner I have ever known, didn't want his son to go down the pit.

Fortunately, from a young age he showed an aptitude for cricket, playing initially for his village side and showing an ability with both bat and ball.

At the age of eighteen he trialed for Nottinghanshire County Cricket Club and was offered a professional contract.

In those days cricket was very much a two tier game in England, with control and captaincy of clubs invariably run by the upper classes.

Harold would have found it perfectly normal to have to call his captain,sir!

He rapidly built a reputation as not only a very fast bowler, but also a very accurate one.

His compatriot at Nottingham was Frank Tyson an equally fearsome bowler, who later said that attempts to measure the speed of Harold's bowling varied between 90 and 130 mph, which if tested today would make him the fastest bowler, the World has ever known!

He is best known for bowling in Australia during the notorious Bodyline Tour of 1932, under the captaincy of Douglas Jardine.

He was ordered by his captain to bowl a thing called 'leg theory' ,which was not only very dangerous for batsmen, but devastated the Australian batting order.

Leg Theory works on the basis of aiming for the batsman and not the wicket, considered at the time not to be sporting.

Harold is reported as saying,'When you have 50,000 Aussies shouting at you, you know you've got 'em worried!'.

On returning to England, the political fallout of the tour had the governing body of the game insisting he write a letter of apology.

This he refused to do, on the basis that strategy was the captain's decision.

Jardine, a toff, was never asked to apologise.

As a result Harold was never selected to play for his country again and finished his county career at the outbreak of war in 1939.

Ironically he and his wife emigrated to Australia, a country that didn't look down on him for being a working class lad, where he lived quietly in New South Wales.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

My Nan

She was old before her time, but I always knew her for the love she expressed.

Long white hair, right down her back, which each morning, she would brush and then plait.

She had no teeth when I first knew her and would suck barley sugars on her gums, which always made me laugh!

She would giggle that her little grandson found this funny.

An old lady who brought up six children in a two up two down Victorian terraced house, with no bathroom and only an outside toilet.

When I stayed with her, she would wash me in an old tin bath in front of the fire, before going off to bed.

She never owned a washing machine and only ever had a cold tap in the scullery, cooked on a primitive gas cooker, yet her children were always well fed and went to school in clean clothes.

Here name was Florence, but everybody called her Flo.

Never once did she complain about her life, even when she was put in a local asylum for a week because she had had a diabetic fit.

She was the most beautiful woman I have ever known.

Monday, 16 November 2009

22 SAS

Many of you will have heard of the Special Air Service, probably from your television screens in 1981, when units of the Regiment freed hostages from the Iranian Embassy in London.

The event was televised worldwide, much to the chagrin of the Regiment.

This unit, never comprising more than 500 men, has since it's inception wished to remain in the shadows.

Founded in North Africa by Major David Stirling, it has a history of causing significant damage wherever it operates, using the minimum number of men to cause the maximum carnage.

It works to eliminate problems that conventional military operations struggle to do.

Typically working in teams of four these men will be tasked with surveillance, sabotage, hostage recovery, counter insurgency and assassination.

SAS selection is one of the hardest processes that a member of the British Armed Forces can go through, since you have to be a member of an existing unit even to apply.

Unlike American Special Forces, where upper body strength is important, with the Regiment, the focus is on endurance.

The SAS is also looking for intelligence, an ability to learn languages and initiative.

Conventional military skills are an expected given, but you will also learn how to withstand torture, live off the land and work with native peoples.

The Regiment as it is commonly called in the British Army, has seen action in North Africa, France, Italy, Germany, Borneo, Malaya, Oman, Northern Ireland, Falklands, Colombia, Iraq, Afghanistan and places the Ministry of Defence do not want us to know about.

During a coup in the West African Republic of The Gambia, in the 1980's, the deposed President asked for British help.

He was sent a Major and Sergeant from 22 SAS, who with the aid of Senegalise Paratroopers, ousted the insurgents within a week.

Today this unit operates in Afghanistan, often behind enemy lines, in a surveillance role, calling in strikes on targets manned by the Taliban.

At least one man in each unit will be fluent in the local language and another will be a medic who will help local people.

Tonight, when you lie in bed, think about these highly trained soldiers who risk their lives while we sleep, they are discreet in what they do and their deeds are invariably not publicised for many years after the event.

Their Regimental motto is ' Who Dares Wins '.

The Knights Templar

It doesn't take me to tell you that millions of words have been written on this secret brotherhood of warrior monks, however for this post I want to focus on the mystery surrounding their early years.

The Knights Templar were initiated in Southern France in the year 1113, by one Hugues de Payen and sometime between 1118 and 1120 he journeyed to the Holy Land with eight other knights.

There he met Baldwin II King of the Frankish Kingdom of Jerusalem and proposed that his new order should protect pilgrims visiting the Holy sites of Palestine.

Quite what persuaded Baldwin to agree to this and provide them with extensive quarters on the Temple Mount, in the Al Aqsa Mosque, is not known.

For nine years these nine knights never left the Temple Mount, but busied themselves digging underneath it.

Conventional wisdom states that in these early years they struggled to recruit new members because of the austerity of their Order.

Their fortunes began to change in the year 1127 when the Abbot, Bernard of Clairvaux, wrote the rules of their order, modelling them on his own, The Cistercians.

Highly regarded throughout Christendom for his canonical knowledge, Bernard later wrote to Hugues de Payen, extolling the virtues of the new Order.

This not only opened the floodgates of new recruits from the Nobility, but also for donations of land and valuables, which would lead to The Knights Templar becoming the wealthiest body in Christendom.

About this time the original nine knights completed their searches beneath the Temple Mount.

The mystery that arises, is this, what did they find? Was it treasure, the mysterious Baphomet, thought to be a preserved human head or was it documentation?

Whatever it was, shortly afterwards the Order was given unprecedented power by the then Pope.

They were to be exclusively accountable to the Pope, which made them more powerful than any Monarch in Christendom.

Did they discover something which would shake the very foundations of the Roman Church, which at all costs had to be kept secret.

I will leave you with this thought. During their time in the Outremer they absorbed much knowledge from both Judaism and Islam.

One school of thought suggests that their long term plan was to instigate the unification of Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

If this was the case then they must have found something that could unite these faiths, an intriguing thought indeed!

Sunday, 15 November 2009


I've just met a very nice lady at Blogcatalog, called Lor, who is a bit of an expert on the subject of aliens and has got me thinking, purely in a mischievous way you understand.

Just suppose a spaceship landed at lunchtime in Alnwick.

Well of course all hell would break loose, there aren't that many parking spaces in the town at the best of times!

The door of the craft opens and out steps this strange looking bi-ped, clad in a shimmering skin tight costume.

The locals are naturally horrified! Can't the BBC film somewhere else?

In perfect English he says,' Greetings Earthlings', Oh God and the scripts crap too!

Up steps Sergeant Mallaburn of Her Majesty's Constabulary.

' Good afternoon sir, very nice costume, now about the spaceship, I'm afraid you can't park it here sir, it's causing an obstruction'.

' Look into my eyes Earthling'.

' Now now sir, you can't catch me with that one, I am a British police officer and by definition a uni- cellular organism that's not responsive to hypnosis'.

' Either you move the spaceship or I will be forced to ask you to accompany me to the Station!'.

With this the alien looks to the heavens, returns to his ship and buggers off!

So when the day finally arrives when the World is invaded, they will probably give England a miss, we can't take anything seriously!

Male Fertility

Well it seems at long last an American Academic has discovered the reason behind declining male fertility in developed countries!

Dr De-Kun Li of Stanford University says,' I would like to advise couples trying for a baby, to reduce their exposure to electro-magnetic fields'.

Our modern World,with it's array of electronic gadgetry, is to blame.

This seems to mean chaps, that sadly your days of vacuuming around the house, are numbered!

Now I know that you will all be sadden by this news, but in the interests of your fertility, you will just have to make sacrifices.

Your dear lady will need to start pulling her weight and stop going off to football games with the girls.

So put your feet up and rest those cherished balls or buy a lead cod-piece!

Friday, 13 November 2009

The English Public House

One of my favourite pastimes is enjoying a pint or two in my local pub, The George.

Having travelled to many parts of the World, including North America,Europe,The Gulf States,Singapore and Australia, there is nothing quite like an English pub.

Some of these hostelries are ancient indeed and have always been the hubs of their communities, satisfying the need of the working man to imbibe on the way home from work.

In Alnwick, to service the needs of a thirsty population of some 8000 souls, we have fifteen pubs, not many, I hear you say, but we get by, nonetheless!

Most countries around the World drink a substance we refer to as lager, which is usually served so cold it gives your stomach frostbite!

This stuff appears not to have any noticeable flavour other than a kind of metally taste that reminds me of new fillings!

In the British Isles and I will include Ireland here, you can by draught bitter, which is hand pulled from a beer engine and thus contains no gas, is a warm brown colour and is full of flavour.

I might add that it is served generally at around room temperature and you don't need many of these before you lose control of your bottom jaw!

There are literally hundreds of different brews, all with their own distinct taste.

So getting back to the point, in this country our social life tends to revolve around the pub, rather than in our homes.

The pub is a great leveller, where people from all walks of life congregate and thus it is a microcosm of our little island.

We discuss politics, music, sport, work, sex( although the English are hardly experts on this subject! ), tell irreverent stories and basically put the World to rights.

Every pub has it's philosopher who has an answer for everything, yeh that's him in the corner, the boring bastard!

Towards the latter half of the evening the language degenerates into pure Pre-Shakespearian Anglo-Saxon.

At the finish, a merry time, having been had by all, we wend our circuitous route home and live to fight another day!

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Pass the Bomb!

Today Simon is enraged!

This morning I went into my local W H Smith book store, part of a publicly quoted company.

So angry was I, that I tried to contact the company's corporate website, but to no avail, these executives hide behind layers of departments designed to deflect customer dissatisfaction.

Not deterred, I sent an open letter to The Daily Mail newspaper, the text of which follows:

Stephen Clarke
Managing Director
WH Smith plc

Dear Mr Clarke,

I had occasion to go into your store in Alnwick today. In the course of my browsing for Christmas presents, I came across, what purports to be a game for all the family, during the festive season.

It goes by the name of Pass the Bomb!

What kind of crass idiot do you employ, who considers this to be a good idea, when people and soldiers around the world are being mutilated and killed by such devices.

Since it appears impossible to e.mail you direct, I am using this conduit to contact you.

At the very least I would suggest that you remove this product from sale and issue a statement apologising to families who have suffered the effects of bomb attacks.

Yours sincerely

Simon Holmes

I would ask you all to express your indignation at a company that sees fit to make profit from such a product.

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

The Mystery School at Eleusis

For those of you new to this subject, I will try to outline what I mean by a Mystery School.

They in essence were schools that initiated people into the mysteries and wonders of nature, including dimensions that science today only suspect, exist.

In both Ancient Greece and Egypt, they were dedicated to the Esoteric Arts, and in the case of Egypt, tended to be focused almost exclusively on the Priesthood and the Royal House.

For the Greeks however access to this ancient and secret knowledge was available to all including slaves and latterly the Romans.

The greatest and most famous of all the Greek Mystery Schools was at Eleusis, approximately fourteen miles from Athens.

Eleusis was dedicated to the Goddess Demeter mother of agriculture and vegetation.

A ceremony took place once a year conducted by an hereditary priesthood known as the Eumolpedie.

It is known that anything up to three thousand people at a time attended initiation, involving a procession through sacred Athens, leading to purification in the sea and being sprinkled with pigs blood.

Having partaken of food and drink including a brew made from barley specifically grown, that contained a fungus with hallucinogenic properties, they were then lead to a sacred grove, where, the High Priest, through incantations, would tell them of the illusory nature of their existence and that this life was merely a dream.

The rites that followed, mirrored the growing season, from the planting of seed, nurturing of crops and ultimately the harvest. To divulge the secrets of the mysteries was punishable with death.

The initiated came away from the experience elated in the knowledge that their spirit was immortal.

The Mystery Schools of which there were a significant number were shut down with the advent of state sponsored Christianity and presented as works of Satan.

The good news is that similar beliefs are still held today by adherents of Esoteric thought and of course by native peoples around the world.

A wisdom that is at last coming out of the shadows!

Monday, 9 November 2009


When I was a lad, I lived in a small village in Hertfordshire, called Pirton and as you know, when you remember your childhood, it was always sunny.

We lived in a fourteenth century thatched cottage where the back garden was bounded by the village pond.

I remember it as being quite large since there were thirteen weeping willow trees overhanging the pond.

Come rain or shine, my days were always spent outside.

My best mate was called Pete and he and I used to disappear off into the Pegston Hills on our bikes, each with a bag of sandwiches and pop that our Mums had prepared for us.

Racing down country lanes devoid of cars, lying face upwards in cornfields listening to the skylarks that flew so high, you couldn't see them.

Digging for fossils in an old disused quarry.

Our bags always contained our Observers books, little pocket sized volumes on subjects like native bird species, butterflies and wild flowers.

The hills around the village were of chalk and grazed by sheep, with the woods being mainly of beech.

For sport we used to go scrumping, nicking ( Stealing ) apples from the Vicar's orchard, I'm quite sure he new what we were up to, but we never got caught.

In those days every village had it's characters and ours was an old man called Will, who in his seventies had never been further than the local market town of Hitchin, just five miles away.

The village lads used to tease him, but he was a crack shot with a catapult and would invariably hit them on the backside as they were running away!

Of course you would never tell your parents, otherwise you'd get another crack when you got home!

On Saturday mornings Mum would give me a half crown to go and by some fresh bread from the bakery, it was so hot I had to run all the way home because I could hardly hold it and I can still taste that wonderful flavour that only truly fresh bread has.

Later in life I read Cider with Rosie by Laurie Lee, evoking his childhood in the Westcountry and all the memories came flooding back.

The richness of childhood before the advent of technology is something I feel privileged to have experienced, sadly it is lost to the young today.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

I Cried Today

Today I witnessed an old soldier lay a flower on the the grave of a friend who died on the beaches of Normandy in 1944.

I struggle to write this post, my eyes are full of tears, for a man who has lost his friend.

Today after all these years, he can still reflect on the comradeship they had together, the dignity that this old man showed, in expressing his love, for his friend makes it very difficult for me to write this post.

What can I say, soldiers of any nation are required to do their duty, but it is their comrades,friends and families who truly understand their sacrifice and we all cry for them.

Let us hope that one day war will be history.

Friday, 6 November 2009

Human Bondage

Slavery has been the scourge of humanity since the dawn of time and we are all familiar with the mass transportation of Africans across the Atlantic for the better part of two hundred and fifty years.

Some estimates say that as many as 15 million Africans were transported in that time to North and South America and the Caribbean.

It wasn't until 1807, after 20 years of campaigning that Britain outlawed the importation of slaves to it's colonies and even then the Slavery Abolition Act was not passed into law until 1833.

What is less well known is that a similar trade had been going on at the same time in North Africa, operating along the coast, from as far East as modern day Libya to the Atlantic coast of Morocco, at the time commonly called The Barbary Coast.

From the early 1600's to August 1816, an estimated 1.25 million European Christians were abducted by Barbary pirates.

Operating out of three main centres, Tunis, Algiers and the port of Sale on the Moroccan Atlantic coast, they targeted merchant shipping, fishing fleets and coastal villages.

In the case of the latter records show that on occasion they took whole communities.

Spain suffered the most, not only because of it's proximity to Africa but also in revenge for the expulsion of Muslims after the victories of Ferdinand and Isabella.

In England the coastal villages of Cornwall suffered repeated attacks.

The Corsairs, as they were referred to even captured Icelanders and Americans, all to disappear into the slave markets of North Africa.

Surviving testimonies make harrowing reading, with forced conversion to Islam, the norm.

Those who resisted usually only lasted about six months and in the case of women a matter of weeks.

The Apostates, as they were referred to in Europe were those who succumbed under torture and new that their governments would do nothing to recover them because of their conversion.

Probably one of the most detailed accounts concerns a Cornishman called Thomas Pellow, who was captured when his uncle's merchantman was overrun in the English Channel.

Thomas was eleven years old at the time and along with the rest of the crew was taken to Sale in Morocco, where he suffered six months of hell in the slave pens, before being brought into the service of the son of Sultan Moulay Ismail.

In order to force Thomas to convert to Islam, his new owner subjected him to sustained bouts of torture using a method called the Bastinado, where the boys feet were strapped together and the soles repeatedly beaten with wood.

It is a testament to his character that it took nearly six months before the boy succumbed to this torment.

He was held in captivity suffering many privations for twenty three years, before he finally managed to escape on an Irish merchantman and at long last make his way back home to Penryn in Cornwall.His homecoming makes emotional reading, for his parents were still alive.

Europe seemed totally incapable of dealing with this trade and it wasn't until August 1816, when Admiral Edward Pellew arrived off the coast of Algiers, with a Royal Navy Squadron.

He gave the Dey of Algiers 24 hours to release all slaves and cease the trade forever or he would turn his guns on the city.

Needless to say the Dey refused and thus Admiral Pellew reduced the city to rubble and destroyed the entire Corsair fleet.

The operation took little more than a day, and at the end of which the Dey surrendered unconditionally, releasing the slaves and revoking slavery forever.

Once news of this spread along the coast, all other centres of the trade complied, thus ending the trade in Christians.

It is interesting to note that Admiral Pellew was a direct descendant of the Thomas Pellow who made it back to Cornwall some seventy years earlier.

In the final analysis it would still take Britain another 17 years to outlaw slavery in the Empire and a civil war in America to obliterate the obscenity of human bondage in that country.

Sadly we have still not removed this crime from the World, the United Nations estimates that there are still some 27 million people on the planet living in some form of servitude.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

November 5th

This one will make you laugh!

In England tonight, we celebrate what is referred to as Guy Fawkes Night, by lighting bonfires and letting off fireworks.

For why?

Just in time the Gunpowder Plot was uncovered, with Guy Fawkes about to let off a huge amount of explosives under the Houses of Parliament, when members were sitting.

What a horrible thought!

The little darlings would have been blown to smithereens, which of course was unacceptable, when being perpetrated by Catholics!

So, Guy and his accessories received the sharp end of an axe.

Of course the irony of this, is the state of politics today and the avarice of the present Members of Parliament.

Concerned with their expenses, fancy lifestyles and second mortgages, whilst our young people are dying in Afghanistan.

Every time a coffin comes home from there, every politician should be forced to attend the arrival ceremony and explain themselves.

I thought you would find that funny!

Dear George.......

From today's press you will probably note that your CIA ex-station chief, in Italy was convicted in abstentia, together with 23 of his chums, for the kidnap and torture of Abu Omar.

Whilst Mr Omar may be in Western terms, called a militant Islamist, your actions suggest that you had no real evidence against the man, other than that he was expressing his views, which he is perfectly entitled to do, in a democracy.

You then took him from a US Airforce Base in Italy, to Cairo, where he was subjected to sustained bouts of torture, which if I am correct is forbidden under the United States Constitution.

These actions were supervised by one Robert Seldon Lady, whom your administration refuses to give up to Italian Authorities, to serve his time for these criminal activities.

Mr Omar, served four years in Egyptian confinement and was finally released without charge.

Freedom, sir, comes at a price. That freedom must be offered to all, including those who do not agree with you.

Your aggressive stance in the Middle East is the legacy you leave ordinary people around the World, who suffer terror attacks and bombings.

Let us hope your successor will realise that military action and inaction on Palestine are no longer acceptable to the vast majority of Global citizens.

When your time comes, George, you will have some very serious explaining to do!

Tuesday, 3 November 2009

Plastic Entertainment

For those of you who don't know, I live in a small market town in North Northumberland, called Alnwick.

It is the ancestral seat of the Percy family who live in a bloody great castle, just around the corner from my modest front door.

I am just recovering from the news that Her Grace the Duchess of Northumberland has appointed a Disney trained Frenchman, as Chief Executive of both Alnwick Castle and the famous Alnwick Gardens.

This announcement has been greeted by local people, with a spontaneous burst of indifference, which won't phase the Duchess one iota!

This man, full of irritating enthusiasm,has stated that he wants to bring you the Alnwick Experience, by this stage you can imagine, my heart has vacated my bottom!

'I intend bringing the fantastic local history alive', says he!

Oh God! Bus loads of plastic tourists buying plastic souvenirs,watching plastic historical re-enactments, eating plastic food,all charged at obscene prices by an avaricious Duchess, who will be in Antibe while all this crap is going on!

No doubt this bloody man will be being paid twice the GDP of the entire town and want to hire us serfs as 'The Alnwick Experience' guides.

Well all I can say is, Your Grace, shove it where the sun never shines!

Ram Bahadur Bomjon

Deep in the forests of Southern Nepal, lives a young man called Ram Bahadur Bomjon, a Buddhist adept who for the last six years, since he was 11 years old, has been meditating.

He is rarely seen and indeed a police investigation was undertaken after he disappeared on one of his forays into the jungle.

At one time he sat for ten months under a tree without taking food or water!

Now modern science would dismiss these claims as being impossible, however film crews and journalists who have visited him, talk of lengthy periods when he did not partake of food or drink.

Whilst in a state of meditation, he has in essence left his body, leaving barely a trace of vital signs.

Some of his followers believe that he is the re-incarnation of the Lord Buddha, however most say that this cannot be so, since the Buddha achieved Nirvanha, a state of enlightenment where re-incarnation is no longer necessary.

Still others believe he is Maitreya Bodhisattva, the predicted successor to the Lord Buddha.

Bomjon, as he is known, says he is meditating for the World, to save us from anger, greed and violence.

Will a seventeen year old lad from Nepal be able to save us from ourselves?

He says he has a further six years of meditation ahead of him, to complete his work.

We can only live in hope that he succeeds!

Monday, 2 November 2009

Being English

Having recently visited the blog of my Aussie friend Al, I have become motivated to address the strange question of being English.

Those of you not from this Sceptred Isle, will have differing views on your personal experience of the English whether through literature, music, humour, war, marriage, education or invention.

I would suggest that we are an oddball people, who as the Americans would say,punched above their weight on the World stage for quite along time.

We view ourselves as different from other peoples, not in a superior way, just different.

I believe the origins of this go way back into the dim mysteries of our past.

Over the centuries waves of people have come from mainland Europe to live here, most of them trying to escape some form of persecution.

This has created an island race who are fiercely independent, with a great mistrust of Europe, and rightly so, our graveyards are full of young men sent to fight vicious European wars.

We now find ourselves dominated by two European nations who over the centuries have caused us alot of grief, namely the French and the Germans.

Even our country's name can be confusing! To some we are Great Britain, to others The United Kingdom.

Some would have us break up the Union with Scotland and Wales, and whilst we like to banter about our fellow Britons, it has served us well to remain united.

We are in a phase of what I would call navel watching, we have given up our Empire, joined a political union with countries who have only had democracy in our terms for the last ten minutes and find ourselves a little uncertain as to the way forward.

However the English have a long history, built on our ability to adapt and change.

I strongly believe that we must forge our own destiny and no longer continue to implement US foreign policy, which invariably is not in the interests of our people.

We have many friends in the World who have been dismayed by our lack of independent thinking, and they are right, our history shows that by taking our own route, we achieve more for England and other peoples when we stick to our principles.

A recent good example, was the quelling of the civil war in Sierra Leone, an ex-colony where the local people welcomed our soldiers in restoring peace and security.

This is what we are good at, we have fought oppression both at home and abroad for 1000 years!

I still believe that my people have something to offer the World, that is good.