Thursday, 22 October 2009
On Having a Vasectomy
Time again for a little frivolity as long as you are not on the receiving end!
Having had two wonderful children, my former wife suffered medical problems which prevented further healthy births.
Thus we decided that the best way forward was if I had a vasectomy and so,as is required in England, we went to meet the surgeon, who firstly wished to establish that this was a joint decision and that we were both of a mind that this was the way forward.
Once he was comfortable with this,he said,ok and asked me whether I wanted a local or general anaesthetic .
Having experienced a general as a kid, I opted for a local, fine and so the date was set.
The day arrived and I showed up at Alnwick Infirmary and went through preparation including a local injection before lying on the operating table.
I am still relatively calm at this stage, and then I am lying on the table with my tackle exposed to the world,legs spread and my beloved surgeon then says,' my you are brave!','why?',says this idiot.
'You are the first man in Northumberland to opt for a local!'
Now ladies and gentlemen,by this stage the man has hold of my balls! What can you do? Not alot.
So the operation proceeds with two nurses dancing up and down the theatre to the Rolling Stones on the music system and the bloody surgeon telling me how wonderful Newcastle United football Club is!
Finally I waddle out of the hospital looking like a guy who has been riding a horse for a week and my wife falls about laughing!
What we men do for our art!