Thursday, 22 October 2009

On Having a Vasectomy

Time again for a little frivolity as long as you are not on the receiving end!

Having had two wonderful children, my former wife suffered medical problems which prevented further healthy births.

Thus we decided that the best way forward was if I had a vasectomy and so,as is required in England, we went to meet the surgeon, who firstly wished to establish that this was a joint decision and that we were both of a mind that this was the way forward.

Once he was comfortable with this,he said,ok and asked me whether I wanted a local or general anaesthetic .

Having experienced a general as a kid, I opted for a local, fine and so the date was set.

The day arrived and I showed up at Alnwick Infirmary and went through preparation including a local injection before lying on the operating table.

I am still relatively calm at this stage, and then I am lying on the table with my tackle exposed to the world,legs spread and my beloved surgeon then says,' my you are brave!','why?',says this idiot.

'You are the first man in Northumberland to opt for a local!'

Now ladies and gentlemen,by this stage the man has hold of my balls! What can you do? Not alot.

So the operation proceeds with two nurses dancing up and down the theatre to the Rolling Stones on the music system and the bloody surgeon telling me how wonderful Newcastle United football Club is!

Finally I waddle out of the hospital looking like a guy who has been riding a horse for a week and my wife falls about laughing!

What we men do for our art!


  1. Thats what love will do, but love of what. ha ha.

  2. Hi,
    I got your Broadcast, Want to Know About the Jannisaries? and clicked on the link, which took me to: On Having a Vasectomy. Hmmmm, I thought. Never heard them called Jannisaries before. :)

  3. I am sorry to say I laughed at this post! I don;t think I have ever heard a man refer to his "privates" as "tackle" before.

    On the upside, I am glad the procedure went well and the staff even threw in a floor show for you:)

    You can always use the money you saved by doing this instead of your wife having a hysterectomy on the 2nd extension of her closet:)

  4. As a not so great man once said - "You lucky, lucky bastard!"
    I cringed in sympathy reading this one.

  5. Glad you escaped it well, and with a tale to tell. I would've gone for a general.

  6. You must have big balls my friend. I would have been too chicken.

  7. hello i got an award from one of my friend according to the rules i have to forward it to my favorites,and you also come in them, plz come and accept your award

  8. I came to read about the Jannisaries but was delighted to read about the vasectomy instead. LOL.

  9. Great story...I like that you did this so your wife wouldn't have to have a hysterectomy...I know you don't think so but it is less invasive!!! For what it is worth...I also would have had a local... :0)


  10. What a brave and loving man, indeed. Your telling of this was very witty, though I'm quite sure you weren't laughing at the time! Couldn't the nurses have chosen something other than...(excuse me here)...the Rolling Sontes?

  11. I thought that this post is for man to read. It gave me a chuckle.